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And Now, For Something Completely Geeky

Ok. I'm bored, and I feel like a geek out. Dan Didio seems to be Italian, at least in sense of humor, and I feel like trying to translate the Italian in DC Nation from this week for myself, rather than going to DC Comic's website to read the official. I mean, I live in an Italian town, I'm part Italian, I've sung Italian in choir and a couple operas, how hard can it be?*

(*Of course, I studied Spanish, and while I went to Italy, I was with an all-English tour group, I have no idea where my Italian phrasebook is...)

I think it'll be more fun this way.

Ad ogni modo, ero cosi'in ritardo con questo editoriale, che mi ha contattato addirittura Alison Gill. E se Alison ti chiama, e' meglio che ti sbrighi...

As always, I've delayed this column, until Alison Gill called me. And when Alison calls you, you'd better hurry.

When Alison calls you what, exactly? A retarded thing? A contralto? Oh, Dan...

Chi non conosce bene la DC, probabilmente pensera' che l'unica persona ad avere tale potere e' Paul Levitz. Ma questo perch' ovviamente non avete incontrato Alison. Parlare di lei ma fa sentire un po'come il pupazzo di neve di Burl Ives che descrive Bumbles in "Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer".

If you don't know DC well, you'd probably think the only person with this power was Paul Levitz. But then you obviously don't know Alison. To talk about her, she sounds a little like the puppet snowman that Burl Ives called Bumbles in "Rudolph The Red Nosed Raindeer."

I'm a little fuzzy on that last sentence, I think. Does she want to tell me a tale? Either way, I doubt I wanna meet Alison in a dark, cold, forest unless I have a dentist with me...

In quanto vice presidente di produzione, Alison supervisiona la realizzazione di ogni graphic novel originale, riedizione e fumetto stampati dalla DC. Non solo DCU, ma anche Wildstorm, Vertigo, Minx, CMX... Tutto! In altre parole, senza Alison e il suo meraviglioso staff, perennenmente oberato di lavoro, quei bei fumetti stampati che comprate ogni settimana sarebbero composti da pagine vuote... Forse neanche spillate! Alison e la sua squadra ci permettono di lavorare sulle scadenze in modo da potervi offrire il miglior prodotto possibile nei tempi prestabiliti.

As our Vice President of Production, Alison supervises the production of all our original graphic novels, and reissues of DC branded comics. Not only DCU, but also Wildstorm, Vertigo, Minx, CMX... All of them! In other words, without Alison and her marvillous staff, perpetually overburdened with work, those books that you buy every week would be filled with empty pages... maybe not even printed! Alison and her squad are always working the deadlines to order to offer you the best product possible, on time.

Drrroooll... More graphic novels. Wait... Dan... You just said she's basically my drug dealer... Or she takes her staff to the bathroom. I'm not sure about that who balloon thing, I'm not sure if you're talking about a whole comic book or just the word balloons... AND I'VE CAUGHT ELLIPSIS DISEASE! And possibly exclamation syndrome...

Altrimenti come potremmo archiettare dei crossover cosi' elborati (in cui il tempismo e' tutto), come quelli tra JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA, JUSTICE SOCIETY OF AMERICA, FLASH e COUNTDOWN (una storia dai tempi frammentati sulle vicende di di ben 4 super-squadre, non 2!) e GREEN LANTERN CORPS, GREEN LANTERN e COUNTDOWN (in cui gli eroi diventano cattivi e i cattivi diventano sempre piu' potenti.) Ma non mi fate cominciare a parlare di 52 e dell'immane mole di lavor svolta dal team di produzione per riuscire a rispettare la sua scadenza settimanale...

Otherwise, how would be be able to build these elaborate crossovers (within a schedule), like those between JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA, JUSTICE SOCIETY OF AMERICA, FLASH and COUNTDOWN (a story from the exploding at the same time across 4 super-teams, not two!) and GREEN LANTERN CORPS, GREEN LANTERN and COUNTDOWN (in which the heroes go bad and the villians become more powerful.) And I'm not going to begin to say a word of 52 and the huge amount of work the production team carried out to successfully meet it's weekly deadline...

Ack... damn... RESIST THE CROSSOVER... RESIST THE CROSSOVER... Not reading Lantern. Nope, not reading Lantern... Is he talking about Travolta? I think Travolta would make a good Green Lantern...

Cosi' ho pensato che e' meglio essere gentile: dopotutto COUNTDOWN debutta la settimana successiva alla chiusura di 52 (che sarebbe il 9 Maggio, per chi fosse stato in vacanza in Antartide il mese scorso...) e con un piano ambizioso della durato di un anno, che prevede il sincronismo tra le varie storie dell'universo DC, in modo da far combaciare tutti gli eventi in "tempo reale", avremo piu' che mai bisogno di tutta la forza e il supporto possibili del dipartimento di produzione.

Thing is, I thought I'd be better to be kind: after all, COUNTDOWN debuts the week after 52 wraps up (that's May 9th, for those of you on vacation in Antartica last month...) and with an ambitious plan that lasts a year, that requires the synchronization of the varied stories in the DC Universe, in a way that corresponds with "real time", we will have need of all the power and all possible support of the production department.

Oh, so in other words, you're doing it to them again, so you have to suck up to their boss to keep them working hard? ... Ummm... Is that gonna backfire because it's in a language that you can expect fully 80 percent of your audience will not be able to read? Nooooo... I was planning on reading COUNTDOWN!!! Wait, he'll just take them to Antarctica in May...

Una volta ho chiesto ad Alison: "Come puo' la tua squadra fare tutto cio'?"... "Magia", mi ha risposto. Per me, no fa una piega. Se lo dice Alison, dev'essere vero.

Once I asked Alison: "How is your team doing it?" ... "Magic", she answered me. Me, I won't question it. If Alison says it, it's the truth.

Gotta be honest, that question there is a total WAG. But yeah, I'd go with Magic, too... And what does flying have to do with it? Oh, yeah. Superheroes.

Well, that's it. Maybe you can visit DC's site, find the translation, and tell me how I did...

Kim is amused when she forgets to actually translate and just types the Italian word, and has to go back and edit. She would like to point out that no Italians were harmed in the making of this post, but we make no promises about the linguistic harm inflicted upon the Italian Language.

X-Posted to Comic Book Goddess